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Stop saying how much you “don’t need a man” because this doesn’t impress anyone and it’s more likely to keep you from having a good one.When a man enters your life, he’ll see what you have going on, your intelligence and your lifestyle.A good leader sets direction for the team, but doesn’t dismiss the voices of those following him.Recognize that you must gain her trust before you get her submission, and if you do something to betray her trust, you can’t be upset at her lack of desire to submit at that point. However, if you find a good man, and he shows the ability to be a good leader, let him lead.This notion comes from the age old “angry, black woman” idea.Black men have used this as a reason why they prefer the more “calm, level-headed” White woman.However, Black men are twice as likely to marry outside their race than Black women, and there is a unique, community issue of some Black men explicitly not wanting to date Black women at all, which isn’t as common in other races.
However, rooted in a white supremacy structure, White women are always assigned presumed innocence and purity, and it’s that very innocence that has gotten Black men wrongfully imprisoned or killed. Yes, but this comes from being a double minority; it comes from being oppressed not only by White people, but by the only other person you’d hope would understand oppression and not inflict it upon you, but does so anyway based on gender: the Black man. However, if a Black woman does get an attitude with you, ask yourself: Why? If you don’t, don’t expect bad behavior to be met with kind words and non-reaction.
Understand that you can’t try to run a man or a relationship, or you will end up just running him away.
Doing something your man asks of you does not make you weak or powerless; it means you’re able to follow and compromise, which is something Black men want and need.
However, just because a Black woman may not need a man to be a provider, this doesn’t dismiss her need to have him as a partner.
Some Black women feel the need to show off that they can take care of themselves because of other complaints from Black men that there are Black women who are gold diggers chasing money or “moochers” trying to get money by having children and collecting child support.
Also, since dating a Black man is more of a novelty or thrill for White women, and they do not have any cultural context of growing up and dealing with Black men, they lack a certain hesitation to submit to them that would more inherently come from a Black woman.